Q: Hi Susan
Classic guy’s question – what do women want? I’ve just split up with a girl whose parting shot was that I was crap in bed. I always got hard, always kept going for hours, always made her come. But she still wanted out and I’m left nursing my wounds.
A; Hi Simon
Two possibilities here. The first is that the parting ‘shot’ you describe was just that – a woman lashing out and wanting to make you feel as bad as possible. In which case, heave a sigh of relief that you’ve escaped, and move on.
The second possibility is this. Yes, we women like erections, love prolonged passion, adore orgasms. But we don’t want you to be judging sexual success solely on performance. We don’t necessarily need love, but a sense of connection, sensuality and responsiveness is good. Dig deep and see if you’ve been offering that; if not, then there’s something to learn here.
Susan Quilliam also offers email, phone and face-to-face coaching on relationship and sexuality issues. Contact her here.