Ask Cliterati: Has Masturbation Harmed Me?

I started masturbating a few years ago, and I enjoyed it. I started getting rougher when I did so, to gain more, but I think I must have damaged myself or something, as it has become really hard for me to achieve climax now.

I had intercourse for the first time about six months ago, and I had sex with my ex-partner about four or five times, but I never achieved any pleasure in it, at all. I think it is because I have been too rough with masturbation. Is this problem at all common? And I never do in masturbation either any more.

I’m really embarrassed about this and I am very, very paranoid I may never again be able to achieve orgasm. I don’t want to have to have surgery later in life (I’m still a teenager) and I’m just worried.

Furthermore, I am self-conscious about my labia. I seem to have different size labia. My labia “lips” are very weird. My left one I can stretch out. It also hangs out of my vagina. Is there something wrong with different sized labia, because my left one is huge, and my right one is really small?

I think I need help.


Well, Jill, the good news is, you don’t need to panic! It’s highly unlikely that you’ve damaged yourself through masturbation. Only 25 per cent of women climax through penetrative sex, so it’s no big surprise that you’ve found it hard to achieve climax with a partner so far. These things take time – and lots of foreplay! Many women find it much easier to climax through oral sex, or you could try getting a vibrator involved to increase your clitoral stimulation – again, with no risk of damage. Keep listening because I’ll be leading you through some of the best toys around later in the show.

Stress is one of the things that inhibits orgasm, so worrying about what’s going on may well be one of the reasons you’re finding it harder to come through masturbation nowadays. Your negative sexual experiences could also be putting a psychological block in place, making it harder for you to relax.

If you’re really worried, get to the doctors. It may seem embarrassing, but they’ve seen it all before. Chances are, it’s a combination of stress and needing a new fantasy. Oh, and when it comes to your labia, every woman has one larger than the other, to lesser or greater degrees, so you can rest assured that there’s nothing wrong with you there.

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