MILF: Jack White

To celebrate Jack White’s 37th birthday this week, we thought we’d give him the honour of being Cliterati’s inaugural Muso We’d Like To…ahem…

Yes, there are many unmentionable things we’d like to do with one of the most talented musos around today, and since such activities are better left to our imagination (and yours too if you’d like to come along for the ride), we’ll just have to point out why exactly it is that Mr White gets us so hot under the collar.

The lovely Jack White looking hot and brooding

Firstly: Jack is an impressive force of nature – both in his prolific musical output and when he’s live on stage. He has to keep forming new bands just so that everyone else can keep up with him! So we are left dazzled by what he might also accomplish in bed. Yes, a man that good with his guitar, who’s creative and unstoppable with it, is most definitely the kind of Muso We’d Like To…  Secondly, our MILF could be said to be broodingly energetic – a unique coupling of adjectives that only serves to make our crush even more attractive. We love Jack’s dark intensity, his sunny smile, and the fact that the most natural way for him to channel it all is in the studio or on stage. With such dirty, throbbing basslines and scuzzy guitar riffs, we can’t help but suspect that he’s fantastically filthy in bed.

The White Stripes by Dean Chalky – NME

Finally, Cliterati is a sucker for style, and JW has it in spades. This is perhaps somewhat unsurprising, as he bears more than just an occasional passing resemblance to Johnny Depp’s successful lady-killer looks. Equally bold to go goth, and glam with it, we can only imagine the fun we’d have dressing up together: “I’ll be Siouxie Sioux, and Jackie Baby, you can be a young Adam Ant – or maybe a contemporary Jack White. Or what about Edward Scissorhands, with bullet vibes instead of shears?!”. Indeed, the possibilities are endless. For this is a man unafraid to experiment, yet who also knows what cut and colours suit him: rocking only black, white, and red in his old White Stripes days, in all honesty he had us at White. We love. 

Jack White’s website 

White Stripes website

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