Cliterati was lucky enough to be invited on to This Morning to defend erotica against Samantha Brick. The topic for debate: Is erotic fiction empowering for women or does it leave you a little cold? Writers Samantha Brick and Emily Dubberley debate the hot topic.
Brick started the debate by saying she was no prude – she lives in France, ‘the home of erotic literature.” and a liberal place. “If you’re not giving your conjugal rights to your husband, you can be sued, That’s the sort of background I come from.” However, she believed that erotica should be kept away from children – something that Cliterati absolutely endorses.
“It gives women a voice for their sexuality. It helps them say what they really want. EL James has covered one aspect of female sexuality – but then there are thousands of other women with thousands of other fantasies. The more writers there are out there, the better – erotica can be used to enhance relationships.” Holly Willoughby agreed, adding that relationship counsellors recommend it.
Brick swiftly moved on to the ‘dark side’.of erotica.
“Without wanting to be flippant, sex games do go wrong. The A&E Departments all round the country are full of injuries that do occur.”
“You’re not issuing a health warning?” asked Philip Schofield. “Are you seriously saying be careful what you read because you might end up in A&E?. Holly, you’ve read it. Did you think you were going to end up in hospital?”
Holly Willoughby had no hospital fears but instead saw the book as escapism — something Cliterati wholeheartedly agrees with.
Schofield added that messages into the show read, “I’ve read it. It spiced up my relationship. No one said ‘I ended up in hospital’.”
Brick replied, “They’re not going to, are they?”
“If someones going to get into something, they’re going to get into regardless of whether they’ve read it in a book,” Schofield argued.
“That’s why there are fantastic manuals. People like Emily [Dubberley] and Tracey Cox write great manuals on how how to practice this kind of sex if that’s what you’re into,” Bond said. “But when you’ve got characters going into this fantasy world with no checks and balances in place, how do we know what’s acceptable?”
Dubberley pointed out that there were checks and balances in the book – the contract in 50 Shades of Grey was complex and similar to those found on pretty much every fetish website – adding that cliterati has lots of articles on getting started with sub/Dom if people were curious about experimenting safely.
“One of the advantages of erotica is that it can help spread a safer sex message. It’s about education. BDSM isn’t to be taken lightly but then, neither is any other kind of sex.”
Cliterati won the debate with 87 percent of the public vote.
Cliterati Doctor, Malcolm VandenBurg later posted on This Morning’s Website, “I have just re looked at BDSM injury papers at the National Institute of Health in US and the only papers that came up in the search are about auto-erotic injuries. Sorry, Samantha.
The A and E argument is perverse. Most people end up in casualty due to alcohol and cars and motorbikes and bikes – do we ban them? In casualty and my medico-legal career I have to deal with the dangers of auto-eroticism far more than BDSM activities. That is practiced alone and can be life threatening and the cause of death. Auto-erotic behavior is carried out in secret without anyone there. You can’t ban that. It is confused with suicide and homicide.
Erotic literature can be empowering and helpful to marriage. It may be educational to teach safe sex, avoiding infections, teaching about BDSM contracts and safe words. All sex should be Safe, Consensual and Legal. It should be age appropriate and without abuse be it physical, sexual, or psychological.
I have used Nancy Friday’s books (which are non-fiction collections of fantasies), “Women On Top”, “Men in Love” and “My Secret Garden ” for about 20 years to help women feel comfortable with their fantasies and rid them of guilt as a path to recovery. Emily’s own writings are similarly very helpful. My friends ask for copies when they see them on my bookshelves. They are put away when children or vulnerable adults visits. We have to use everything responsibly and be shown how to do that.”