Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: Will His Passion Go Soft?

Hi Susan,

My new boyfriend is a lot older than me (old enough to be my Dad, but let’s not go there). And sometimes he finds it hard to get an erection – the first time’s always OK, but he can’t do much after that. It doesn’t worry me at all right now – he’s very attentive and makes sure I come – but should I be expecting things to go from bad to worse as he gets older?

Hi Louise,

You’ve probably got no need to worry. As they get older, men do take longer to recover from orgasm and go again, but this ability declines slowly – we’re talking decades rather than years – and if your boyfriend keeps in good health then there may be only a slight decline.

That said, if your man suddenly can’t get it up at all, then that’s more worrying – erection issues can be caused by underlying health problems such as diabetes or heart disease. If this happens, then do try and get him to the doctor – men typically hang on far too long before taking such problems to a clinician and in the meantime it’s not only their sex life that’s getting worse but also their health.

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