Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: He chose work over me
My partner and I planned our first dirty weekend together down to the last romantic detail – we got a wonderful country house hotel, with fantastic food, great country walks, champagne on ice, the works. So imagine my shock when he got a phone call half way through to say he was needed back at work – and insisted on driving back immediately. I agreed and tried not to give him a hard time. But should I put up and shut up, or walk?
What’s going on here is quite simple. You have found yourself a workaholic, for whom career is more important then relationship. Unless this guy is a brain surgeon who had to perform an emergency operation, his going back to work was not a matter of life and death – and so he could have at least made it clear to his team before he left for the weekend that he shouldn’t be called. He didn’t.
This doesn’t mean your relationship is over – you held it together and so the two of you can carry on as before. But do you want to? This was a very special weekend and he didn’t prioritise you. As time goes on and your relationship settles down, he will prioritise you even less. Frankly, I’d run for the hills right now.
Susan Quilliam also offers email, phone and face-to-face coaching on relationship and sexuality issues. Contact her here.