I know you normally answer quite serious questions about sex, so you’ll maybe think this is a bit trivial. But can you give us some tips on how to make out in hot and humid weather. My girl and I are getting together this weekend – we’re at Uni at opposite ends of the country – and we’ve been joking about how it’s just too hot to make love; no aircon of course as we’re far too poor. But clearly we won’t be able to keep our hands off each other, however warm it is So… any thoughts?
No question is too trivial! And actually, this is a really good query as you’re quite right – hot weather and heavy action often don’t mix. So here are some ideas for you.
For a start, choose your venue. I can’t actively advise you to make love out of doors because in many countries it’s illegal – but if you choose to find a sheltered woodland spot with no chance of being overlooked, that would be up to you. That said, indoors is often better for this than outdoors because it’s out of direct sunlight – find a cool wooden floor, or take yourselves to the kitchen or bathroom where you can bonk up against the fridge or in the shower turned to luke-warm. (Truly cold water is likely to shrink your bits and put them out of action…) In other rooms you can set a fan going or open the windows – top and bottom openings will create a good air flow.
Next, think about what you’ll actually do. Full skin-on-skin foreplay is going to be just too hot and sticky. So get your juices flowing without heavy contact by talking dirty, telling each other wicked fantasies, or getting some good hot action on screen and watching it together. When you’re ready to touch, start with lots of simple kissing – how aroused can you get with no other skin to skin contact than your tongues entwined?
Move on then to do-it-yourself without touching each other – gazing into each other’s eyes while each bringing yourselves off means you’re not creating mutual body heat. Then take it in turns to stimulate each other with minimal movement – one of you lies still while the other does the work with slow, gentle hands or mouth. You might want to add in your favourite sex toy pre-cooled in the freezer – or just use plain ice, though you shouldn’t leave that on delicate skin for more than a moment as it can burn.
When it comes to intercourse, pick your position. Missionary is likely to get you both overheated, so go for positions with minimal contact, such as side by side, her on top and sitting up, or rear entry.
Finally, try stopping and starting as you move towards climax. This doesn’t just allow you regular opportunities to cool off as you take breaks. It also means you get more aroused; slight pauses in action let more body fluids flow into the relevant places, which means stronger orgasm. Enjoy!
Susan Quilliam also offers email, phone and face-to-face coaching on relationship and sexuality issues. Contact her here