Features: Porn – We Want It! We Love It! by Ronete Cohen (Part 2)

Read part 1 here

Jackie Strano finds that women like all kinds of porn: gay porn, gonzo porn, amateur porn, and soft core porn. It’s different for each woman. Carlyle Jansen agrees. Storyline or no storyline, soft or edgy, who’s in it, the kind of sex that goes on – different women are looking for different things at different times. “Sometimes I want to see something romantic,” she says, “and sometimes I want to see something edgy, just like sometimes I want to have romantic sex and sometimes I want to have edgy sex. We want different kinds of things depending on our mood and what’s going on.”

And this is what women are telling me. One says, “The type of porn I watch varies quite a lot and it tends to link to what I crave at the time!” Another likes it edgy: “Well, I enjoy porn that involves women being dominated and controlled (by men or women). What turns me on is usually situations where women are ‘used’ sexually, but actually experience pleasure while this is happening, even if it’s pleasure they don’t want to experience. Forced orgasms, sensual but controlling BDSM, ‘sex slave’ scenarios and spanking (of women) all feature in the porn I seek out.” Another says, “I’d say the porn I seek tends to reflect what I like in sex itself. I’m very submissive, and my actual sex tends to revolve around (consensual/pre-agreed) ‘being forced’. In all my porn the women are submissive, and usually there’s multiple men (I do have a very small selection of multiple women on one woman, but that’s harder to find decent stuff). My favourite stuff inevitably involves DP/the woman being ‘used’ as a sex toy.”

Emily Dubberley of the UK written erotica site Cliterati, who writes about sex and is currently writing a book about women’s sexual fantasies, says that common themes in stories submitted to the site are submission and domination. “However,” she says, “there’s also trans sex, lesbian sex, voyeurism (including watching gay sex), exhibitionism (the pole-dancer/lap-dancer fantasy), bukkake, fisting, anal (giving and receiving), dressing up (corsets, latex and lingerie, more than fantasy outfits), toys, group sex and myriad other themes and acts: women are truly diverse and no less ‘dirty’ than men.”

We most definitely are. “I much prefer kinky to vanilla porn,” says a woman, “as the latter is often formulaic and tends to feature camera angles I find dull (and lousy cunnilingus/unlubed anal – ouch!). Sometimes it’s facials/bukkake, sometimes it’s group (MMF generally), sometimes it’s more extreme gang bangs and sometimes it’s BDSM (gagging blow jobs, fisting, spanking, humiliation – generally female, though watching male sub stuff with my male partner is hot). Strap on sex (woman to man) is hot too.” It’s not just BDSM that women like. There’s also spanking porn, “men or women spanking women, specifically. This is as distinct from BDSM porn, by being more like real-life type scenarios. I don’t need any sex to happen, and given the choice between sex-porn and spanking-porn I’d choose the spanking. However if sex does happen in the spanking porn that’s definitely a plus although it doesn’t seem to happen very often! My ideal porn is someone being spanked and then fingered to orgasm.”

Courtney Trouble makes queer porn and other kinds of porn from an indie, feminist perspective. She’s glad to see that more people are doing field research and talking to all kinds of women on their porn preferences. She agrees that “women watch as much of a variety of porn as men do, and we are not inherently drawn to softer, sweeter, story- lined erotica. “50 Shades” ain’t even half of what we want.”

In Courtney’s opinion, when mainstream companies make different porn to cater to women, it shows that they think the other porn they make is “too rough for our soft, overly-sensitive” nature, and that only porn actresses would put up with the acts done on screen. “Through this misogynist lens they paint a bland, saccharine, watered-down version of porn – thinking that like everything else handed to women, we want it pink, petite, and covered in Disney Princesses.” She thinks that they are probably also ashamed of how they treat women in the films, and assume that women would be turned off by the things they do. “I think that the porn that women find intolerable or over-the- top, is probably the same porn that most men find distasteful as well”, she says.

Carlyle Jansen wonders whether ‘female friendly’ was coined by men. “We use the term, because that’s what people understand,” although their definition of female friendly may be a bit different. She sees mainstream porn as giving a very limited perspective on what woman are like, what we want and how we orgasm. She thinks we want to see our own desires reflected and our bodies represented. She thinks we’re looking for authenticity, even in a fantasy. We need to be able to imagine ourselves in what we see, or to believe that it would turn a woman on and make her orgasm. “We’re looking to see our own desires reflected,” she says, “not just what men think our desires are.”

Shine Louise Houston, the founder and director of Pink & White Productions and sites like CrashPadSeries.com and PinkLabel.tv, makes porn that reflects this diversity. “It creates empowerment by saying yes we are beautiful,” she says, “we’re an art form, we’re not all gym bunnies, and that’s OK. We’re not all super high femme and all this kind of stuff. It’s like, hey, let’s normalise this. These are queer bodies. And hey, we can be just as hot as the models in Penthouse. It’s empowering when you can see yourself reflected in an image. If it’s powerful and sexy you might think, wow, I really always wanted to identify with that but I can’t because my body doesn’t look like X. But maybe that person is brown, they’re heavy, they’re butch, and thought that was totally hot and know that they can be totally hot. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our bodies and we shouldn’t be ashamed of our sexualities. Put it out there—it’s hot!”

Part 3

© Ronete Cohen

Links:
Courtney Trouble: http://courtneytrouble.com
Good For Her: www.goodforher.com 
The Smitten Kitten: smittenkittenonline.com 
Crashpad Series: crashpadseries.com 
Pink Label TV: pinklabel.tv 
Good Vibrations: www.goodvibes.com 
Fatale Media: www.fatalemedia.com 
Emily Dubberley: www.dubberley.com

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