Just in case you’re under the misapprehension that Richard Gere and Julia Roberts were the stars of Pretty Woman, let me put you straight: the true scene stealers of the film were Vivian’s patent boots
– and not only for their condom-storing properties (although let it be known that we here at Cliterati are great fans of being a “safety girl”).
Having lusted after a pair of thigh-high heels since – oooh, let’s take an educated guess…1990 – it was with utter joy that I discovered that Lovehoney sells three different styles of said footwear. They even sell Vivian’s patent lovelies
, which we eschewed due to not possessing legs like Roberts’ (which she mentions in Pretty Woman measure “44 inches from hip to toe”). Yup, I may be 5’9″, but even I thought that they’d look welly-like on me.
The Pleaser boots
however, looked easier to carry off – primarily because they have laces running all the way up the back which means that you can tighten or loosen them to suit your shape. I figured they’d look less obviously bulky than the Pleasers with the laces up the side
, although those looked equally appealing.
Having read the ever-excellent peer reviews on the Lovehoney site, I noticed someone mentioned that if your feet bordered on the wide then it might be worth buying a size up in the Pleaser range. Salient advice, I thought, and then promptly ignored it: “Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
Or rather it would’ve been, were it not for Lovehoney’s excellent returns policy. As predicted the shoes came up a little too narrow – not much, but just enough to inflict a creeping discomfort over the course of an evening on the dancefloor.
So I sent them back and received a replacement pair of Pleasers within days: these were slightly too long, but more comfortable width-wise. They were also roomy enough to stash my camera and cash for the evening without ruining the silhouette.
If you’ve always wanted a pair of thigh high boots for the bedroom and beyond, then Cliterati can assure you that this particular pair are real Pleasers
– plus you can carry your cigs and condoms with ease. Heels are the new handbags don’tcha know, and these babies are gonna treat you so nice you ain’t ever gonna want to let them go. Well, unless you need to trade them for the next size up, that is…