Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I had sex with my boss
We had a fantastic end-of-term party at the school I work at, and I got it on with my favourite man – he came back to my place and we had a great night. Trouble is, he’s a head of department and I’m a trainee doing teaching practice. We’re both free and single, and I’m way above legal age, but I’m pretty sure it would be totally frowned on if anyone found out. I don’t want him to get into trouble, so how do I cope with it when we go back in the new year?
There’s nothing illegal or immoral about what you did – but it could cause some awkward moments if you try to carry on with the relationship in the new year.
So if you don’t particularly want to do that, I’d simply turn up next term bright and breezy, wish this man a happy new year, and carry on as usual. He’ll get the message that what happened at the end-of-term party stays at the end-of-term party, and that will be the end of it (just remember never to tell anyone else on the staff what went down, or all your attempts at secrecy will be immediately blown).
If on the other hand you, and/or he, do want to turn this into a relationship, then you need to manage it carefully. The ideal will be to wait until you’ve finished your teaching practice, and only then start dating. That’ll be a challenge, but it will be worth it. Once you’re done working at the school there should be no problem with your being together.
Susan Quilliam also offers email, phone and face-to-face coaching on relationship and sexuality issues. Contact her here