Features: Daisy Chain with Girl on the Net

girlonthenetWhen Cliterati first started, there were very few people – particularly women – writing about sex on the internet. Now, there’s an abundance of sex bloggers. But who should you read? We didn’t think it was fair for us to decide on our own but wanted to help expose (ahem) the best sex bloggers around. And so, we are asking our favourite sex bloggers to interview their favourite sex bloggers, in a similar way to Chain Reaction on Radio 4. Kickstarting ‘Daisy Chain’ is the fantastic GirlOntheNet, who never fails to make us laugh out loud with her honesty and summarises her site as “All the ways I love fucking.” Enjoy…

How would you describe your site in two sentences or less?
A pervy girl’s real-life stories, combined with a few angry rants about sexual politics, and some smoking hot guest blogs. I update three times a week, and try to keep the balance to one filthy story, one rant and a guest blog.
What’s your favourite post and why?
Blimey, that’s a hard one, and I’m a bit worried that if I suggest one I’ll sound a bit narcissistic. The ones that are the most popular tend to be the filthier ones – about throatfucking and sex with strangers and all that good stuff. But I think the ones I enjoy writing most are the ones I really have to think about. I wrote something a while ago about why no one has a right to sex, in response to a lot of weird misogynist discussion when the US shootings happened. Lots of people were saying, ‘Well, if he’d got laid then this wouldn’t be an issue’ or ‘I bet the women who turned him down feel bad now.’ It’s an insidious argument and when you see it in one place you start seeing it everywhere – this idea that humans naturally have a right to sex and that it’s cruel or heartless of others to turn them down. I saw an article just yesterday in which a guy had suggested that governments set up dating programmes in which women are paid to date socially awkward guys. So I wanted to get to the heart of why this attitude is awful, and explain (hopefully to those who might be tempted to agree) why the idea that everyone somehow has a ‘right’ to sex is wrong. The post itself took ages because I wanted to make sure that if anyone who thought like this stumbled across it, they’d change their mind. I have no idea if I succeeded, but it was fun.

What inspired you to start your blog, and have your motivations changed?

I’ve always wanted to write about sex – sex is, you could say, my hobby. It’s something I’m deeply passionate about, borderline obsessed by, and probably the single activity I spend most time thinking about. When I started the blog I just wanted to share some sexy stories, and be able to talk about some of the hotter things I’d done without boring my friends with it in the pub.
Now, though, the blog’s become quite successful and I get way more traffic than I ever thought I would. I wouldn’t say my motivation has changed – I’m still eager to share stories – but there’s definitely more to drive me now. I’m lucky enough to have a sponsor (sextoys.co.uk, who are bloody lovely) so part of my motivation is that blogging pays some of my bills. On top of that, I now have a fairly big platform, so a significant part of my motivation these days is to share that with people – publishing guest blogs (which I pay people for, because it’s important to share the love!) and giving other people’s stories some time and attention. It started as a personal blog, but in my wildest dreams I’d like the site to become wider and more diverse – I’d like to host more stories from a range of people who have different experiences to me (as a straight, white, cis girl obviously my experience is incredibly limited).
Has sex blogging changed your sex life?
Not in any major way. I’ve always been fairly strict about the idea that I want my sex life to drive the blog, rather than the other way round. I think my dude would be a bit hacked off if he came home from work to find me lubed-up and bent over and nagging, ‘Come on, fuck me in the ass like this – it’s for a blog!’
Having said that, it does influence certain things: I have tried a few sex toys because I’ve been lucky enough to be given them for free, and we talk about interesting new fetishes because of research or articles I’ve found when blogging. Occasionally he’ll read a post I’ve written about a particularly hot fuck we had at the weekend and that’ll inspire the next hot fuck – I love it when this happens.
Oh, and I guess because the blog’s given me the freedom to go freelance, the fact that I now work from home means I masturbate about five times more than I used to. It’s a hard life…

Who will you be interviewing for Daisy Chain and why?

I’m going to ask the awesome Dumb Domme if she’s up for it. I adore her style – she’s witty and funny, and not afraid to be vulnerable and human. Also, because I tend more towards submission than dominance, I love reading about BDSM from the other point of view. She’s eloquent enough that she gives some really interesting insights, and I really relate to the way she talks about BDSM in the context of relationships as a whole.
Read more of Girl on the Net‘s fab writing, including our favourite ever sex toy review, of the fabulous Doxy Massager, which features an audio guide along with her brilliant words.Better yet, buy her book, My Not-So-Shameful Sex Secrets here.
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