Now, there is another playmate on my mind. Though my friend’s tenderness roused my sensuality, reminding me of my body’s cravings, this is more raw; more visceral. An online conversation that started with an accusation of teasing and rapidly turned into a mutual confession of desire. I am realising that it may not simply be tenderness that I am missing. I also have a need for cunt.
This is not a new thing for me, but instead a desire that has been locked up by my mind’s mental monogamy for too long. And now I am single, I have no need for monogamy. I do not need to set aside my desire for women in my love for a man. Not that my ex would have minded had I introduced a woman to the equation. But I did.
Now, I have no need for a man to be involved. Quite the opposite. One brief online conversation has reminded me that there is a world of pleasure out there that I had accepted as part of my history, something long gone, if not forgotten.
Now, it may be part of my future. And the idea excites me. While sharing a bed with my friend made me realise I was not asexual, it did not lead to the fierce lust that has taken over my body; the pelvic ache giving me a constant reminder of my desire until the point – almost 24 hours later – when I was finally able to sate it.
My situation had conspired to make self pleasure an impossibility – but the second I was able, it was all I could do; a need so intense that under a minute of rubbing, fully clothed, was all it took for me to come, hard, relieved at the aching; but far from relieved from the desire. If anything, it made it worse, made me crave a longer, more languorous session, letting my mind explore all the delicious possibilities opened up by the discussion; extend the lewd images that flashed through my mind at speed.
There are many possibilities.
She is as filthy as I am, perhaps filthier; only time will tell. Whether we turn our desires into reality is still up for debate but there is no doubt that it is fuel for both of our fantasies. There is a mental connection that saw her asking me to abuse her in a way that had already flickered through my mind but been banished for being ‘inappropriate’.
She wants me to be ‘inappropriate’.
When I asked how she felt about one of my darker desires, she not only accepted it but raised the stakes in a way that had also flickered through my mind. We have similar shadows in our past. These give similar sparks in the darkness. I suspect we would both enjoy exploring each others dark places.
The moment for self-pleasure passed all too quickly. The situation changed and I was once more unable to indulge my desires, privacy gone, no hope of it again for too long.
It does not stop my mind from exploring. But doing so only makes the ache worse. My cunt is wetter than I can remember it being for too long.
I want to taste whether hers is in the same state.
Read Part One of Spring Awakening
Read Part Two of Spring Awakening
Read Part Four of Spring Awakening
Read Part Five of Spring Awakening
Read Part Six of Spring Awakening
Read Part Seven of Spring Awakening
Read Part Eight of Spring Awakening