While there are certainly lots of fantastic dildos, vibrators, cock rings and all manner of orgasm-inducing devices around, there are two things that will improve your orgasms more than all of these added together: Kegel exercising and lube. We’ll espouse the joys of lube at a later date but to start with, get your love muscles ready to go.
‘Kegels’ is a colloquial term for the Pubococcygeus muscle, which is a hammock-like structure that stretches from the pubic bone to the base of the spine. This nifty muscle controls the flow of urine and contracts during orgasm. Exercising your Kegels boosts blood flow to the area, increasing the strength and frequency of orgasm, as well as helping prevent stress incontinence (which is particularly common after childbirth). You can also flex your Kegels during sex to add extra friction and sensation.
Both genders have Kegel muscles, though at present there are only Kegel exercisers available for women. However, men can still exercise their Kegels DIY style with the help of a flannel (see below).
Women have several options when it comes to Kegel toning. The DIY option entails simply flexing and releasing the muscles, as if trying to stop the flow of urine. However, some women find it tricky to identify the correct muscles, or simply forget to incorporate the exercises into their daily life without some form of reminder. This is where a Kegel toner on the bedside table comes in handy. These come in various styles.
There are two types of smart ball, single and double. Both types have a string for ease of removal, and a ball inside them, ‘jumping bean’ style. This ball within a ball creates a vibration which induces the muscles of the vagina to contract spontaneously, thus strengthening your Kegels without effort. To use simply insert the balls into the vagina and carry on your day as you wish. NB: Don’t use Smart Balls when travelling abroad as some kinds have metal centres, and can set off airport metal detectors.
Also known as barbells (but much less intimidating than this name infers) these are generally made of stainless steel. To use, lie on your back, insert the barbell and use your pelvic floor muscles to raise and lower the barbell.
Available in various weights, vaginal cones resemble a tampon and are simply inserted then held in place for a minute or more using your Kegel muscles. Increase the weight of the cone as your muscles tone up to ensure maximum benefit. However, they shouldn’t be used during pregnancy if you have a history of miscarriage, or during menstruation.
These resemble salad tongs crossed with a dildo, and are made from plastic with interchangeable metal springs of various tensions, so that you can increase the level of exercise as you get used to Kegel toning.
These consist of rods that you insert into the vagina, which are attached to a pressure gauge so that you can see how hard your flexing your muscles and increase your exercise regime accordingly.
Electric Kegel Exercisers
Also known as TENS machines, electric Kegel exercisers work in a similar way to abdominal exercisers, using a mild electrical pulse to stimulate pulsation in the muscles. These offer a zero effort way to exercise your Kegels.
Kegel Toning for Men
- First, get an erection: think semi rather than full-on – this is about exercise rather than masturbation, and you don’t want to get too distracted.
- Now, take a damp flannel, fold it into three and drape it over your penis.
- Raise and lower the flannel by flexing your Kegel muscles. Rather than going for rapid flexes, raise it for a count of ten then slowly relax the muscles to a count of ten. Work your way up to thirty repetitions, holding for thirty seconds.
Regardless of gender, the more often you flex, the better sex will be.