Toy Reviews: The Transformer by Paris Orsini


I was delighted when I was given the Transformer double ended 10-speed vibe to try.  It looks cool, sleek and well designed. However, it was a major hurdle getting into the packaging. My language was colourful to say the least, not due to the intensity of my rampant desire to try the object, but Tthrough the sheer bloody frustration to get into  the packing. It lived up its name. Last Christmas I watched my brothe-in-law spend nearly 45 minutes, trying and failing to unpack the latest Transformer toy for my over excited, soon-to-be-losing patience nephew (the age-appropriate robot/ turn into something  else shiny and shit, rather than a sex toy). My brother in law swore a lot. As did I, trying to remove hundreds of cable ties.

Not only did I not want to be reminded of my brother-in-law whilst building up to toy induced pleasure,  I did not want to wait this long to get off! After several  minutes, I basically lost patience  and ripped the packaging apart – then discovered it needed charging. If this toy was designed to tease, it would win. I sighed deeply, put the Transformer  on charge in frustration and went to the ‘old faithful’: you know.. the old  toy that everyone had in the cupboard.; Boring, dependable, probably the first one you bought but satisfyingly simply when compared to new fangled , multi functional pleasure givers, which are so secure in their packaging they are in no danger of going near your bits

Anyway, this build up to the review mirrors the length and frustration of the build up I had to actually trying the damn thing.  Was it worth the wait? Well now…. yes it was! It can be bent in just about any shape. I imagine (and imagine I have done) if one had another nubile young lady to share this toy with, it would be so much fun. I think it really lends itself to some great girlie fun. Sadly for me, I was going solo on this review mission. Made with Body-Safe, FDA Approved Silicone ( do not use with silicone lube), it is smooth and well designed. It feels very nice to the touch and has the right balance of strong pulses, continuous vibrate etc.

The Transformer feels and reacts like good quality product. The control is set in sensible place and once you get used to the different modes, you can play easily. What sets it aside from other products is it flexibility: literally. It can be bent around and twisted into any manner of shapes for multiple uses. Its not over large so doesn’t need to scare those who, like me, look at large didoes the shape and size of an old fashion milk bottle and feel intimated.

I think this toy could particularly come into its own for larger people and/or those with limited mobility. Due to how long you can extend it, it could access places where normally you can’t reach easily. In fact, stick a feather duster on it and get dusting behind the TVright now! Or, better yet, stick it somewhere you’re going to enoy it… Just make sure you allow time to get it out the packaging first.

The Picobong Transformer costs £79 from Picobong

Posted in Cliterati Magazine

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