I have great sex with a fella I've known for almost two years. Problem is, when I first met him he would go down on me with out me asking, seemed to love it, and commented on how gorgeous I tasted. It was the best I've ever known and I'm 50 now. He has got really selfish in sex, asking more and more of me to give him what he wants but never asking me what I want, despite my indications of wanting oral pleasure too. I'm slightly afraid of asking him directly why he's stopped this pleasurable act, as I don't want to embarrass him or myself in hearing the reply. Though that seems daft, considering he openly asks me to give to him.Should I stop giving him wanks and oral pleasure and see what happens? I absolutely love it.I am almost addicted to his cock.He has a beautiful arse too.He says I have a gorgeous arse.The relationship is almost entirely sexual, although at first we thought we were in love.I believe I still love him, as I am always thinking about him. He has hurt me a lot, ending and restarting the relationship more than once. Can you suggest a good tactic to get him back DOWN THERE?

Cliterati repliesThis could well be a symptom of other things going on in the relationship, particularly given that you mention the relationship ending and restarting a lot. Much as it's embarrassing to ask, the only person who can really answer this question is him. This is scary as you may get an answer that you don't want. However, it's better to know the truth and have a chance to deal with it than to carry on unhappy and not knowing.Trading sexual favours can set up unhealthy patterns - sex should be about willing give and take rather than 'I'll do you then you do me.'It could be as simple as you've both fallen into a rut as you've been together for a while. Maybe try starting off sharing a bath or shower together before moving into oral sex. You could also try some fun with food; don't put anything inside the vagina as it can lead to infection but a spoonful of honey can help the medicine go down, so to speak!Being with a selfish lover can be damaging to your self esteem, and if he's not prepared to make any compromises when he sees how unhappy he's making you, maybe you should think about whether he really is the man for you. Sex is by no means everything but it is a part of a loving relationship and if your sex life with him is making you unhappy, then it's definitely time to talk to him.