I have always found reaching climax quite a lengthy, somewhat tedious and frustrating experience. I have had several vibrators, and had some success with them. I found that a lot of them burned out rather quickly. I got fed up with paying out to find you could not get a refund nor repair even when you'd only owned the thing a month. I recently bought an Omax massager. That's the business.Trouble is there are very noisy things, like a blooming road drill. My boyfriend has never offered to use it on me. I use it on my own.Over the past few months I have lost the ability to orgasm, properly,as I call it. I grunt and groan and go wild but nothing comes out. I read in a book called THE GOOD SEX GUIDE by Dr.David Delvin that "some women feel the urge to actually expel fluids when reaching orgasm, so is this sexual fluid the equivalent of male ejaculation?This states that women don't necessarily have to produce liquid when they come to actually have reached an orgasm.But it doesn't feel right to me. I am 50 now and enjoy sex very much and regularly. I wondered if it's my age that has stopped my sexual fluids from flowing or is it a block somewhere(in my head). I am bothered about it. I also seem rather dry and often have to use oil to lubricate. I have a myrena coil. This stopped my periods completely after a few months, as I was having a rough time with them. How can I get back my ability to produce fluid when reaching an orgasm.Or maybe I am not really getting there at all. Sad.

Cliterati repliesMany women find it hard to reach orgasm, and it's very common for sexual response to change with age, particularly with regards to vaginal dryness. Your doctor may well be able to prescribe something to help with this. If your periods have stopped, this could be creating a mental block of some kind. Alternatively, you may be going through hormonal changes that have had an impact. Your doctor will be able to help you identify the problem.It sounds like Dr David Devlin is talking about female ejaculation rather than lubrication in general. Whilst not everyone believes female ejaculation exists, those who do, think that the fluid is similar to male ejaculate. However, it is by no means an essential - or even that common - part of orgasm. Indeed, you can have a full orgasm without any lubriaction at all.When it comes to sex toys, rather than waiting for your boyfriend to make the offer, why not ask him yourself? Some men feel threatened by sex toys but once he realises it's an added bonus, not a replacement for him, he should be more than happy to explore with you. There's a great book called Toygasms with details on introducing a sex toy into your sex life with your partner. It also has some great tips and techniques on using your toy for maximum effect.It may also be worth trying to make yourself come with your fingers. Make sure you won't be disturbed, let your imagination go wild and let your fingers do the walking! It may take a few attempts if you're used to toys but once you've got it sorted, you'll save a fortune in toys - or at least have a 'fall-back' position if the batteries run out!People carry on having sex until well into old age and you're certainly nowhere near old! Get yourself a check up and get playing with the toys - and your fingers - and you should be enjoying great orgasms until well into the future.