I have been with my boyfriend for over two years now, and have been having sex for almost as long (I lost my virginity to him). We have quite an adventurous sex life, and use vibrators quite often. I thought I hadn't ever cum, it felt like I'd almost cum several times, but lost it just before the end. However, he suggested this was me actually cumming as I didn't like to be touched after this. I think this is true. However it's upsetting as although it's good, it doesn't last long and isn't the mind blowing thing people talk about. Also, this only happens with a vibe. He is the sweetest thing ever and will try anything and everything to try to make me cum, but it just doesn't work. What can I do?

Cliterati repliesIt sounds like you're getting close to achieving climax, although the sensitivity you feel afterwards could be a sign that you may be coming as the clitoris tends to be more sensitive after climax. However, it can also be made oversensitive by excessive friction so it could be that a bit more lubrication - either your own or one of the many lubes available (go for water based as oil-based can rot condoms) might help.In terms of achieving climax, only 25 per cent of women achieve orgasm through penetration alone. Oral sex is a far more effective method for many women to achieve orgasm. However, by far the best way to achieve orgasm is masturbation. Learn what you like on your own first then show your partner. While toys are fantastic things, it's worth trying masturbation without one to see if you can climax that way. Try different pressures and strokes, use lubrication, try using a shower (but never spray water up the vagina as it is very dangerous) and above all, make sure you're relaxed.As to it not being the mind-blowing thing that people talk about, orgasm is different for everyone, and can change depending on the kind of stimulation, the time of the month, your partner and the way your body changes as you get older. Some things that can reduce orgasmic function are alcohol, drugs (including some prescribed medications - check with your doctor) and most common of all, stress.A great way to improve your orgasms is Kegel excercises. Read our feature about kegels to help you learn how to do them then flex those muscles. You may well find that your orgasms improve as a result.