I lost my virginity at 18 to a much older lover.I suppose I thought that if he didn't make me orgasm he'd be upset,so I faked it.He's a considerate and eager-to-please man,loves foreplay as much as sex itself.The problem is that once I began to masturbate I found out what really turned me on and how I liked to be touched.I can't orgasm through penetration,though I've come close a lot of times.How do I get out of the faking trap?

Cliterati repliesDon’t worry there are plenty women who have fallen prey to this trap. The additional pressure of trying to please an older, possibly more experienced lover suggests that you have found yourself falling deeper into the trap. However as you have suggested he is a caring, eager to please partner with whom you feel comfortable with so this shouldn’t be a problem to get yourself out of. Only 25% of women achieve orgasm through penetration so reassuringly you are not alone. There is no reason for you to tell you partner that you have been faking all of the time, rather try different ways of instigating foreplay that ensures you can in future reach orgasm. You mentioned that you enjoy masturbating and are in touch with your body, perhaps initiating a longer session of foreplay where you can show your partner exactly what turns you on and ask him to do the same may help or experiment with different positions to find out what feels good for you both.A slight change in your bedroom habits with more focus on what you already know turns you on with a lover who will be happy to not only please you but enjoy it if you instigate a session where he can learn to explore what makes you orgasm will hopefully ensure that you are well and truly out of that trap.