Vibrator, tissues, feathers…if lubricant is missing from your goodie draw, or your sex life, then you’re missing out!

Just in case you were wondering, I spent last night at a ‘Coming Together’ party, hosted by Beecourse.com. I was expecting a typical Anne Summers affair but I was in for a pleasant surprise – it was an evening well spent. Beecourse is less Sex and the City, and more good, honest advice about sex and relationships backed up with a website aimed at all levels of sexual experience and expertise from beginners to the more mature woman like myself. It’s a very different and best of all, very refreshing approach to the sexy side of life, from anything else around.

Well, as the evening progressed, talk turned to lubricant, or rather more surprisingly it didn’t. As the Beecourse host handed around some lube samples the conversation literally dried up - if you’ll excuse the pun.

Even when she stressed the importance of lubricants in not only preventing pain, but also enhancing pleasure, there was an awkward silence. I was amazed by the look of terror and disgust shown by some of the seemingly broad-minded in our party. They couldn’t wipe it off quick enough.

It astounded me that, even in the apparently open-minded era of the noughties, ‘lube’ is still a dirty word with a slimey stigma. While women are happy to compare and contrast the orgasmic powers of the rampant rabbit versus the eroscillator until last orders, lubricant is a subject firmly off their gossip agenda.

One girl even remarked "I make too much, I don't need that!" Poor lovely….. little does she know. The truth is, whether you like it or not, we all need lube at some time or the other. When it comes to the when’s, the why’s, the where’s and of course the worries - if you’re groping around in the dark when it comes to this matter you can definitely benefit by getting some advice from www.beecourse.com.

The Facts

Natural lubricant is produced from glands that surround the vagina. They secrete pretty much all the time to make sure everything stays clean and lubricated when we walk and move about generally. Normally it’s clear or slightly cloudy and has very little smell but it's quite normal for its consistency, or stickiness to change over the course of your menstrual cycle.

Bear in mind though, that our diet also has a big influence on the smell and colour – so if you tucked into a curry last night that may also be the route of your problem. If you want to taste good down under - eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and avoid strong smelling foods!

If however we have an infection such as thrush (a yeast infection which occurs when a change in the vagina's acid balance leads to an increase in the growth of a common fungus, candida) or cystitis (a urine infection), the lubrication we make may become odorous and discoloured – both can be easily sorted starting with a visit to your GP.

Sexually transmitted infections (STI's) can cause our secretions to change too - some are pretty nasty, not to mention highly infectious. So if anything seems to be unusual down there it’s vital you go to the doctor to get it sorted – no putting it off, they’ve seen it all before!Take your time

Naturally the body sends messages to the brain to produce more lubrication depending on the state of arousal. But this takes time. If our man is straight in there, and it’s all over in the blink of an eye our brain won’t even have a chance to get into first gear! So as his first snores reverberate around the bedroom, you could be still just be getting started.

We NEED time; exploration, touching, and plenty of massage with those fingers before our juices start flowing. The clitoris - a gland at the top of the opening to the vagina, needs to be stimulated in order for us to be aroused. Statistics have proved that nearly 90% of ladies out there do NOT come with penetration alone. With a mere 20 minutes of foreplay, 90% will come with penetration. So what are you waiting for?

Help is at hand.

In an ideal world, this is all fine, but realistically we can’t always depend on being able to secrete lubricants on demand. Apparently, almost 60% of women do not have enough lubrication at some point in their lives. Either their partners aren’t doing the business or they simply don’t have enough juices to get them flowing.

On these occasions, there are plenty of lubes on the market;

• ones that look and feel like the real thing.

• ones that are clear and tasteless.

• Flavoured ones which taste anything from beer to Blueberry - all great for oral sex.

• Household names such as KY jelly.

(It’s important to note that using Vaseline or any petroleum jelly based lubricant will erode rubber causing them to break so obviously these should be avoided when using methods of contraception such as condoms or femidoms.)

But most importantly women have to accept that lube may have to be used at some time or other. If you feel a little dry and use a lube during sex - the slip and slide really adds to the pleasure. If you’re using a toy (with or with out your partner) you will need the extra lubrication for added comfort to come quicker and to avoid bruising the delicate areas in and around the vagina.

Equally, there are periods in our life where lubricants can give real benefits;

• During certain stages of the your menstrual cycle

• When you’re feeling stressed

• When you’re going through the menopause

These are all times when we are dryer than others, nothing to do with arousal – we simply need a little extra moisture!

Of course there are treatment and physical conditions that limit our ability to produce enough secretions too. After chemotherapy or radiotherapy, while taking drugs (whether recreational or prescribed), or just because we’re out of sorts and our immune system is impaired.

So the moral is ladies

enjoy good sex

enjoy lubricated sex

For more sex advice, loving products, relationship advice, visit www.beecourse.com