Fancy trying your hand at writing porn but not sure where to start? Stick to a few basic guidelines and you'll be churning out filth before you know it.
First of all, try to use correct grammar and spelling. It does matter. Unless it's part of the plot, don't write using text message abbreviations. They'll only be edited out. Use a spell check before you submit your story. The most misspelled word is tongue. And that's the correct spelling of it. Remember it - please.
Base as much as you can on personal experience. Remembering a particularly incredible night and writing it up is a lot easier than having to generate entirely original scenarios. Also, think of those conversations you've had in which sex has been mentioned. Write them up, changing names for obvious reasons.
You can also take horny situations you've been in that never amounted to anything - those nights when there's been a frisson in the air but something stopped things from developing. Imagine what could have happened and write it down.
Failing that, write up your most common fantasies that have no basis in reality. It's amazing how much you remember - after all, you've been using it as masturbation material for years.
It sounds obvious, but pick scenarios that are easy to introduce sex into. Rather than convoluting the lead characters into the sack, go for something like playing naked twister, being somewhere intimate (office with no-one around, train, kitchen at a party) with a sexy stranger or having a girlie night in with a friend you've always fancied. It may lead to slightly clichéd stories but given that most people read porn for masturbation material, as long as the sex scenes are well written, they probably won't mind too much. Of course, if you can come up with original scenarios, so much the better.
Start listening to every conversation around you, no matter how mundane. Inspiration can come from the strangest places. Hearing a barman saying 'I'll be coming right over in a second' or a business colleague saying 'I'm tied up all afternoon' can trigger erotic stories if you keep your dirty mind running full time.
Most importantly, keep it real. If you're writing about anal sex, mention some form of lube. If you're talking about blowing a 14 inch cock, mention some hand action (or gagging - but that's far less erotic) And if you're writing about group sex, make sure everything's physically possible. We'd generally advise against including a group sex scene in your first story unless it's a true story. It's way harder to keep track of what five characters are doing than two or three, particularly if you want all of them to come. The fewer characters you have, the quicker and easier you can write it up.
And finally, don't masturbate or have sex until you've written the story - that pent-up tension makes for great porn.
Additional Tips for Men
Women are unlikely to be moved into paroxysms of pleasure if you dress the women in your story in 'red crotchless panties'. Who wears those things? We've never yet met a woman who professes anything other than loathing for them - silk knickers or no knickers are way sexier.
Contrary to popular belief, size does not always matter. Men tend to be way more precise in sex scenes: "Their cocks were much bigger than my eight inches, at ten inches and twelve inches." This sentence will make most women think 'Ow' rather than 'Oooh'. Which leads on nicely to the next point. Some semblance of reality is a good thing. OK, so it's unlikely that the stuff that happens in a lot of porn stories would come exactly true 'cos there's a need with erotic fiction to get down to things a fair bit faster than they'd necessarily happen in reality. But keep it within the realm of possibility. If you've had great sex - you know, that thing that happened that you drag out of your mind every time your settling down for a quick one off the wrist - then write about that.
Most importantly, if you haven't done something - or at the very least have a damn good idea of how practicalities would work - don't write it. We had one submission where the lead character "Shoved his fingers up her clit"
It made us wince, which is never a good thing with porn.
