Ever keen to get feedback, we were pleased to get the following comment through about our feature on safe sex.
"I'm very disapointed and saddened. I've just read the little article about condoms, and how everyone should be using 'em. Bollocks! If you're in a long term relationship (with no STIs) and the chick is on the pill, I say rejoice in the incomparable pleasure of flesh-on-flesh. This scenario wasn't even mentioned. Hopefully this will spark-off some interesting and stimulating debate, and not just be decried from the parapets like some mangy soothsayer seeking shelter for the night at an inhospitable castle in Bavaria.
Love, n-s.
p.s. I can't wait for the male pill.
And we thought 'Hmm, maybe N-S (Mr, we assume from the way it's written - but hey, even though this is a site for women, any blokes who want to find out more about what women want are fine by us!) has got a point.' After all, it does feel nicer when there's nothing in the way. It's easier to have sex outdoors when you're not worrying about the condom and it can be a lot more spontaneous. So if you are going to have sex without a condom, here are a few tips:
Only have unprotected sex if you've both been tested for everything (HIV, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, herpes, gonorrhea...the list goes on) and you haven't had sex with anyone else since. Often, getting tested gets overlooked - you've been with someone for a few months and decide you can trust them enough to move to unprotected sex. Don't overlook it - get tested. Being the cynical women that we are, we'd recommend going to get tested together so that you know it's not just a line. Sadly, love has yet to protect against STD's and not everyone's honest.
Bear in mind that if either of you are unfaithful, the test becomes a useless bit of paper. Herpes can be passed on through oral sex so even if you use a condom when you have a fling, you're still putting your partner at risk. And a trip to the Clap Clinic is not the best way to find out that your partner's been unfaithful...
Unless you want to get up the duff, make sure you've got some other form of contaception in place. Talk to your doctor about what's best for you - there are loads of varieties of combined pills and progesteron only pills you can take, but bear in mind the pill isn't ideal for everyone, particularly if you've got a history of depression or heart problems, you smoke, have high blood pressure or are forgetful. You can also get implants which last for three years, contraceptive injections, a coil or a diaphragm or a new produuct called Oves which is a disposable cap. There are all manner of new forms of contraception being developed including vaginal microbes, contraceptive patches and even contraceptive pants! Make sure you pick the best one for you and don't feel pressured by your partner or doctor into using something you don't want to.
If you like anal sex, make sure his cock is well washed afterwards if you intend to have vaginal sex, otherwise all manner of nasty bacteria could do unpleasant things to your bits.
If you or yor partner inject drugs, don't have unprotected sex unless you're sure you wonÂ’t share drug-injecting equipment with anyone.
This may all sound horribly off-putting, but sadly it's the truth. STD's are unpleasant at best and life-threatening at worst so if you're in a loving relationship and decided to forgo the condom, make sure you still keep yourself protected. For more information, visit Lovelife or SHASTD
