Monogamy is one of those things that are a matter of personal choice and morality. I have friends who would consider their partner kissing another woman as grounds for divorce. Others have told me that as long as their other halves wear protection, they have no particular problem if they sleep with other women. Yet others have told me, in confidence, of course, that they are sure that their men are cheating, but as long as they don’t really know, then it’s OK.

However, when I’ve asked my friends whether they would ever cheat themselves, the resounding response is never. They have never even thought about it, not even for a second. Yet, I wonder if this is really true.

Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship knows that it can become stale, however hard you try. The sex can become routine – more like a trip to a familiar destination than a journey around outer space! The thought of something new – and forbidden – can become overwhelming, especially when accompanied by the compliments and attention that can be so missing in the constant relationship.

So, is sex on the side ever a good idea? On the whole, the answer has to be “no”. You have to consider the repercussions. It’s extremely unlikely that there won’t be any – whether it is your own personal guilt, or your other half finding out at some stage. The sense of betrayal is almost always too much to bear – and even if he were to forgive you, it is almost impossible for them not to be thinking that you’re up to “no good” every time you go out without them.

It’s also not a way to wake up your partner to pay more attention to you and your relationship. You may believe that by straying from the path of monogamy you will turn his head and make him more committed to you. However, this is unlikely to be the case. One of my friends, whose girlfriend went off with her lover after she thought he was not committing to her, before finally returning to him, has admitted that he finds it difficult every time she goes out with her friends. It’s almost as if whenever she’s out of his sight, she could be with someone else. He concedes that it’s probably done irreparable harm to their relationship – and that although he’s trying it’s unlikely that they will stay together in the long run.

Personal guilt can also be absolutely overwhelming. That quick knee-trembling incident, which seemed such a good idea when you were coming out of a club drunk, can leave you with more than a hangover the following morning. This is particularly true if the person that you “trembled” with has different ideas about it’s meaning to you. Do you really want someone turning up on your doorstep, armed with flowers, which you then have to explain to your partner?

You are also on unsafe ground if you start fooling around with someone who is known to you or, perhaps even more so, you and your partner. Whilst you may lust after a friend’s boyfriend or your partner’s best mate, getting involved is certainly not something that should be at the forefront of your mind. Even though you may enjoy the flirty relationship you have with them, it is probably foolish to take it further. These flings often end in disaster, as even if your conscience can be kept in check, can you really say the same for the other person. You don’t want your best mate crying on your shoulder, because her man has been “having it away with someone else” – are you going to be the one to tell her it’s you?

So, on the whole, monogamy has a lot going for it. Of course, in saying everything above, there is a certain thrill to flirting with a non-significant other. As long as it goes no further than that, it is always great fun. However, if you do decide to dip your toe in the water of infidelity, just watch out for the sharks!