Close bonds are created when you are quite young, they say. Most of my youth, however, was spent feeling alienated and lonely. Young people are very cruel; they torture insects and humans in the same casual way. It wasn't until I was about 19 that I met someone I felt close to - but the cruelty did not disappear either...

Stepping off the train in Dorset, it struck me for perhaps the first time how rural this place was. I hoped that my Mum's friends would be OK, as there would be precious little else to do. On arriving at the cottage, that sense of isolation began to really sink in. I stood at the bottom of the stairwell, greeting my mother, and a head popped out of the door at the top of the stairs. Natasha was their daughter, she was staying with us to get her summer reading out of the way for university. I think she was a bit of a swot.

"This is Lorna, her girl, Natasha, and everybody this is my daughter Rachel" my Mum said.
"Whatever." I sulked, and walked into the kitchen. Natasha hadn't spoken yet, but now she darted down the stairs, something from the darkness now made material. She appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. She was very slender, with long, wavy, strawberry blonde hair. Her white face was covered in freckles.
"Can I get you something?" she said. And that was it. I'm not really sure how our relationship turned out this way, but she did everything she could to please me, and I called all of the shots.

That night, we had a good meal and all chatted, about what we would do in the future, and the inevitable question of whether there were "any boys on the scene." Lorna explained that Natasha was so busy with her work, she didn't really have time for men. My mother just looked uncomfortable. We all had seperate rooms, and filed off to bed at about 11.30. I hadn't been in mine long, trying to warm myself under the blankets, when I heard a thin knock at the door. I knew it would be her.

"Yes?" I said, with irritation. The ghostly figure hurried in.
"I can't sleep, it's cold and I'm scared," she said, all at once. I thought this was nothing but a feeble excuse, and I told her so. She looked so frail standing there though, that I opened the blankets for her.
"If you are good, you can stay," I said. Her cold fingers clawed at me, and it felt good. I eased her head down, and put my arm around her to warm her up. Underneath the sheets, her little tongue started lapping at my stomach, and it was a kind of delicious torture to see how long it took her to work her way down to my clit. The slight, circular movements were not like anything I had ever felt before. At the moment I came, I made sure her fingers were up me. The orgasm was so sweet and long, I felt I had been drugged. We curled up there together and fell asleep, Natasha curled into me.

When I woke up, she was gone, and I realised it was quite late and everbody was already up. At breakfast, I asked cautiously where Natasha was, and I was told she was in her room, reading. Looking in, I saw her with her hair tied back, leaning over a book. I went away without speaking. I went into the town that day, and bought Natasha a warm jumper and some beads. I returned to find she was alone in the house, and I could not resist making her use her tongue again.

I was standing at her desk, and she worked her tongue into my knickers, even licking the sticky underwear clean. I stroked her hair as she lapped, before I came to a much more violent orgasm than the night before. Afterwards, I left her to her books and went into the garden to have a smoke.

My mother and Lorna were out that day and most days, commiserating about the divorce they had both recently been through. No doubt they were thrilled at how inseperable their two daughters were. It was on one such afternoon when I had decided to repay Natasha for her relentless favours. She lay on the bed, writhing slightly, while I peeled off her clothes, stopping only to kiss each part as it was exposed. We were so engrossed, we did not hear the door. The first we knew of it was when our mothers stood at the door, aghast. After a second of silence, the screaming began.

After a night of interrogation, I was packed onto the train back to my university town. As far as I know, that was the end of my mother's friendship with Lorna. It was just that I had just reached the point where I thought I was in love when it happened. Of course there were other girls, but that was the first time I had experienced both a pain and a pleasure I never knew possible.