My boyfriend is really keen on anal sex but we have only managed it once without it being painful for me. Is there anything that can make it more comfortable??
And can having anal sex cause any long term damage?

Cliterati repliesAnal sex: some women love it, some women hate it. Is it dangerous? It can be. Can you make it safer? Yes.
First off, make sure you use a condom. Obviously, there are germs back there. The anal passage is sensitive to infection and can get torn so don't take any unnecessary risks. Make sure that you are both well washed and protected, regardless of whether you've been tested.Relaxation and lube in equal (large!) quantities are key. One recommendation we've heard is Tequila - getting soused on it (and probably any other alcohol) serves the dual purpose of relaxation and acting as a mild anaesthetic (by reducing your sensititivity.) Obviously, we'd never recommend alcohol abuse but given you both know what you want to do, it may ease the process.Lots of foreplay is a must. Make sure that you are very turned on and get him to tease your anus with his (lubricated) finger first to get you used to it. Don't let any part of him go from vagina to anus without being washed as this can cause infection and irritation. Make sure that the lube you use is water based not oil based as you don't want the condom to break. When you feel ready, get him to put a lot of lube around and in you, then take him in very slowly. Make sure that he will stop at your command as you don't want him to go too fast. Taking it slowly so that you get used to the sensation is key. Once you get used to the feeling of him being inside you and he gets deeper into you, you may find it becomes a lot more comfortable. Warn him in advance that it's different from vaginal sex - the last thing you want is for him to start thrusting hard and fast as he gets into it.If it hurts, feel free to stop. Don't feel pressured into doing it - love is no reason to put up with pain!Evacuate your bowels before and afterwards and both have a wash too. If he's gentle enough, you may be lucky enough not to bleed but don't be surprised if there's blood in your first couple of bowel movements afterwards. If it continues, get to a doctor to make sure there hasn't been any damage done. Anal sex can be great fun but should be handled with care as it does have associated risks. And don't feel guilty if you don't enjoy it - lots of women don't. Conversely, don't feel guilty if you love it - a lot of women do!You may find The ultimate guide to anal sex for women book and Nina Hartley's guide to anal sex for women video useful for a more in depth guide to anal sex.