Ive been with my boyfriend for about two years. We recently went through a really bad patch where I felt unloved, unappreciated etc.. . I'm not using this as an excuse but because of my mood at the time I ended up crying on a friend's shoulder. This friend happened to be an ex-boyfriend who is still a close friend and after far too many drinks we ended up in bed together.

I have been filled with guilt ever since. Because of what I had done I immediately went to my boyfriend to finish the relationship. Ironically, this meant that we talked about the problems that we had in the relationship and set about sorting them out. However, I was too much of a coward to tell him what I had just done.

Now I am increadibly worried about STDs as I used no contraception other than the pill. Are there any signs I should look out for? I want to get tested anyway as I would hate to pass anything on to my boyfriend but have no idea how to go about it. Do I get tested for only certain things or all of them?

Also it may not sound like it but I do love my boyfriend. This is the only time I have ever been unfaithful to him and never would again. I don't have any interest in my ex and he doesn't want me. I'm just worried that I won't be able to get over it as I am having trouble sleeping and don't like myself at the moment. Do you think it is possible for a relationship to survive this sort of thing?

I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

Cliterati replies
Relationships can survive a lot, if they're the right relationship. You certainly aren't the first woman to look elsewhere because you were feeling unappreciated. Try to forgive yourself as the guilt will be far worse for your relationship than if you just move on. You were unfaithful. You feel bad. You don't want to do it again. End of story. Learn from it and don't put yourself in a situation where it could happen again. Having a one night stand doesn't mean you don't love your boyfriend. You're intelligently dealing with the most important side of things. Getting tested for STDs (STIs) is essential. If you go to your local Family Planning Clinic and ask them to test you, then they will tell you what you should be tested for. Getting tested for everything you could have been exposed to in one go is the easiest way to put your mind at rest. However, make sure you learn from this. Sorry to be boring but there really isn't an excuse for having sex with someone without using a condom in the situation you were in. Please use condoms from now on as it saves a lot of trauma and risk, not just for you but also for your partner. Ideally, use condoms with your current partner until you know you aren't infected.The best thing to do right now is forgive yourself, get tested and move on.