I am 18 and have been sleeping with my boyfriend (19) for a couple of months now but we have never had oral sex and always have sex in the missionary position which we're both getting tired of but won't speak about. He has had several other partners but he is the first person that I have been with which makes me nervous as I'm not so sure of what I'm doing! He has tried to bring up the subject of me sucking him or going on top but I usually try and laugh it off as I'm scared of not being able to pleasure him. I've tried being on top before but it hasn't really worked out and we've given up which has really knocked my confidence. I'm getting really uptight about it now which is making me more reluctant to try anything new and I don't know how to change the "boring sex" cycle! He's a really nice bloke but im scared he's going to get bored of me! I need some advice on how to make him happy, HELP!

Cliterati replies
First off, any bloke who won't talk about sex but would leave you because he wasn't enjoying himself would be a cad! However, it's down to both of you to be open with each other and broach the subject. It can be embarrassing but the end result is worth it.Some men assume that their girlfriend isn't interested in sex and don't realise that it can be quite nerve-racking, particularly when you're new to it. If you ask him to show you what he likes then he'll probably be more than willing to accomodate you. You could always play a 'sex game' where he's the 'sex tutor' and you're the eager learner. Just don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with.Don't be intimidated by blow jobs. They're much easier than they sound. Use your hand to control the pace and stop him from pushing further down your throat than you want him to. Use your mouth to provide the additional sensation. Slide your lips up and down his shaft, lick the head and listen hard so that you can hear his groans when you do something he particularly likes. If he doesn't make any noise, don't be worried that you're doing it wrong - some men are just quiet.Keep up the same kind of rhythm with your hand and mouth as you would when you are having sex. As he gets more aroused, speed up your movements. As to whether you spit or swallow, it's your call. If you don't want to swallow (and bear in mind that there are safe sex risks in swallowing so you can always use a flavoured condom) be subtle about it. Pull away just before he comes and continue the thrusting movement with your hand. By that point, most men won't really care!In terms of oral sex for you, it may be easiest for him to part your vaginal lips with his fingers before starting, particularly if he's worried about pubic hair getting in his mouth. Most men find it a turn on so don't feel worried about asking for it. By parting your lips, he should be able to see your clitoris easily - and when he licks it, you should have a great time. Get him to go very gently at first as every woman has different levels of sensitivity and it may hurt if he goes in 'all guns blazing'. He can use his fingers at the same time to give you more pleasure.

In regard to going on top, some women just don't like it. Make sure you're wet before you try it and then ride up and down at a pace that suits you both. If it knackers your thighs, change position. Going for it doggy style (you on your hands and knees, him behind you) will give your thighs a break and we've yet to meet a man who doesn't love it. It also gives him (and you) the chance to play with your breasts and clitoris for added satisfaction.Another easy position are 'spoon-style' where you lie with your back to him and he lies behind you sliding into you (great for hungover sex) He'll probably love the fact that you're suggesting so many exciting ideas. Good luck, don't be nervous and remember, never feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do.