Hmmm. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months, and I love him immensely. I'll cut to the chase - I've completely lost my sex drive. Its disappeared. I can't get in the mood however hard I try. I can't understand why because up until a few months ago I was your typical horny-as-hell 19 year old and we were doing it at least every day. Now if we make twice a week it's bloody good. Help! I can't understand it.
Cliterati replies
It is a sorry fact of life that after the initial burst of lust, things do tend to slow down. During the 'honeymoon period' you might well have found yourself doing it anytime, anyplace, anywhere, but a year on it might be confined to a Saturday night special.
Are you still enjoying the sex when you do have it? It may console you to know that the national average is 109 times a year, so you are still having more sex than a lot of couples! If you are enjoying it, perhaps it's time to ditch expectations that it will always be like it was when you first met. Don't forget, there's always masturbation, and we are here to help with that!If you really are feeling bored, it's time for a chat with your beloved. It might be that you are finding it hard to reconcile being so secure with your man and still finding him exciting. It is actually easier to make your relationship with someone more thrilling when you have been with them for a long time in many ways, because you can be open with each other. You can use your imagination, and that is no bad thing. Have you got any special fantasies you have never discussed with him before? Don't feel obliged to share absolutely everything if you don't want to, but introducing more of your sordid thoughts into the bedroom - or wherever -could get you both going. Get him to do the same and you could be pleasantly surprised.
Sometimes other factors such as stress at work, lack of sleep or drinking and taking drugs can impact on your libido. If you think this might be the case, make the necessary changes and your health as well as your sex life will improve. It might be worth seeing a doctor to have a chat about your sex drive if you are really worried.Please don't let this get you down too much. It's very common and our postbags are full of letters like yours every week. With a little bit of work, you should find your libido comes back with a bang.