I have been with my partner for many years and sex has always been very good. Obviously it has declined over the years and factors like a long term stressful family situation have added to this. In the last few weeks, when I go on top, which we usually find best, he has found it hard to breathe. He says he doesn't know why and nothing has changed in our lives in this time. We then tried with him on top, but I found it hard to breathe, but then I do have mild asthma! He was also struggling to come in this position.For the moment he says he's not bothered and finds other ways to pleasure me, which I mostly prefer these days. I have more and better orgasms in this way. I then go down on him, and he says he's fine with that. I don't want to do doggy style and do you really have to do penetration?

Cliterati RepliesFirstly, there's no need to do penetration. You can enjoy a perfectly good sex life without it. There aren't any rules to sex and if you're both happy, go with the flow!As you're both getting asthmatic, it's well worth going to a doctor. One common cause of asthma is dust accumulating in your bed, so it may be worth changing your duvet and mattress, particularly if they're old. Go to the doctors to get checked up though - it's worth finding out why you're both getting asthmatic symptomsIf you don't want to have penetrative sex, try exploring your sexuality in other ways. Maybe you could share some fantasies, talk dirty to each other, get into role-play, watch each other masturbate or even just see if either of you can come up with new twists that make oral and manual sex even better; try using lube when you masturbate him or playing with his balls when you go down on him. Get him to vary the position he goes down on you to see which you like most. Maybe incorporate some sex toys into your sex life. There are loads to choose from on LoveHoney.How about trying 'Spooning' where you both lie on your sides? You may find this less strenuous for both of you. There's also a new Lovers' Guide video all about positions coming out in February, which was written by one of the Cliterati team, so you may find some other positions to try in that.