Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: Should I make a porn film?

Dear Susan Tricky decision here. I’m very cool about porn, as is my (male) partner – we watch it together, though we tend to avoid the heavier end of the scene or if it involves violence. But we were at a party recently, got talking to a film-maker, and it turned out he makes soft-core,

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: Should I go to a male escort like my girlfriends have done?

Dear Susan, This isn’t a Christmas question, but it is something that’s come up for me because of Christmas. I spent the day with some girlfriends – we’re all single – and courtesy of a large number of bottles of red wine over dinner, we started talking about using male escorts. Turns out two of

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: I just snogged my brother-in-law

Dear Susan, Oops. I went to my family for Christmas as usual, and as usual it was all a bit tense and I had a bit too much to drink. So after the big lunch, while everyone’s watching television, I pop upstairs to my old bedroom to get something – and a moment later my

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: She didn’t ring me on Christmas Day

Hi Susan I’m in the middle of a very new and very passionate relationship. But the thing is is only two weeks old and so we felt we couldn’t break our Christmas commitments. Instead we agreed that we’d celebrate together last Sunday, that she’d travel on Christmas Eve to the country cottage she’s sharing with

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: I’m going to come clean to her parents!

Hi Susan, We’re spending Christmas Eve and Christmas night at my girlfriend’s house. But it really bugs me that her parents don’t know we’re having sex – or if they do they’re ignoring the fact. It’s mad – we’re in our mid twenties so you would have thought they’d be cool, but they give us

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: He’ll be too smashed to get it up

Dear Susan, I’d love to have a romantic Christmas the same as everyone else does. But I know we won’t be making love on Christmas Eve… or Christmas Day… or Boxing Day… because my partner will drink far too much as he does every night, then as usual he won’t be able to get an

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: Have I given myself cancer?

Hi Susan I know you’re not a doctor, but I thought you might be able to advise. I’ve had a positive smear – no treatment needed though they are going to keep an eye on me – but I really want to know what might have caused it. There’s a lot of talk about whether

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: I’m still angry at his affair

Dear Susan I’m really struggling right now. Over the summer, while I was away on holiday with my friends, my partner had a fling with someone at work. He told me the minute I came back, finished it with her, we kissed and made up. The woman in question has moved away so I’m pretty

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: He won’t use protection.

Dear Susan, Great new man, great new sex life. Problem – he won’t use condoms. We’ve got round it up to now by being very, very, very careful and having lots of hand, oral and anal. But I really want to feel relaxed in bed and just don’t – while he says that the only

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: We’ve got out of the habit…

Dear Susan I love my partner very much. We’ve been together for three years, I still fancy him like mad, I have no intention either of leaving him or having an affair and I know he feels the same. But we’ve just got out of the habit of having sex all that often. We managed

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: Is My Fiancé Being Unfaithful?

Dear Susan, My wedding’s planned for two months’ time, but I think my fiancé is being unfaithful to me. He’s working late a lot and when I walk into the room he clicks the computer off. I’ve tackled him about it but he gets cross, says I’m imagining things and tells me he still loves

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: I’ve Gone Off Having Sex

Hi Susan, I’m a man in my twenties and all of a sudden, about two months ago, I completely went off sex. I love my girlfriend to bits but when it comes to desire, there’s none. I’m not under stress either – we’ve had a good summer, have been away for a month together and

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: Just Harmless Flirting in the Office?

Dear Susan, Mine’s a classic. I do fancy this guy at work. But it’s totally inappropriate for me to be starting anything with him. I’m married, he’s married, he’s much younger than me, and in any case we’d not last five minutes if we got together. So why do we have this whole email thing

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: Could I Be Gay?

Dear Susan, I’m a man of 23. I have no problem having an erection when I’m on my own, when I’m with a woman I just can’t keep things going. None of my relationships have lasted long, and recently I’ve had a lot of one night stands – but I’m now getting more and more

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: Sex After Childbirth, Is It the End of Lovemaking?

Hi Susan, My darling daughter is a year old now, and I still don’t feel like having sex. My partner’s very patient, though he must be getting fed up with it – but there’s just no desire there any more and I can’t even think of myself as sexual. Is this the end of lovemaking

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: When Do I Disclose My Disability?

Dear Susan, I broke my back earlier this year in a skiing accident and am now in a wheelchair. I’m coping well physically though I know it’s unlikely I’ll ever walk again, and emotionally I’m fine. But my fiancé just couldn’t cope with it and a few months ago he called the wedding off and

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Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Sex After a Mastectomy by Lady Grubhorn

Ok, so I only have one tit now. It’s a nice small, pert tit and we get on fine. I’m a bit of a tit myself, so it doesn’t feel too lonely. Just as we are all individuals, cancer affects us all in individual ways. It’s such a bland yet scary word ‘cancer’. Personally it makes

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Sexual Health: Coming Clean

It isn’t often that I find myself at the city’s Sexual Health clinic, but this morning I was there to offer support to my friend Claire* who joked that she’d been, in the immortal words of Beyoncé Knowles in Lady Gaga’s utterly fabulous video Telephone “a very bad girl. A very, very, bad, bad girl”.

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: Does He Love Me?

Dear Susan, I met Josh at a dance class. We spend a lot of time together, not just dancing, but regularly going for meals or drinks, and I love him to bits, but have always assumed he’s gay. But when I introduced him to one of my gay friends, he reckons that Josh is in

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: I’m Circumcised and Hate It

Hi Susan, I’m seventeen, I’m circumcised and I hate it. None of the three girls I’ve got naked with with have been with a circumcised man before and so have been odd about it. I also got really bullied about it at primary school and even now am often the only cut guy in the

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: I’m Scared About My Daughter Growing Up in Today’s Society

Dear Susan, I’m giving birth to my first baby in two months, we know we’re having a girl, and we’re over the moon. But weirdly, I’ve started noticing just how pressured things are for girls – particularly very young girls – growing up nowadays. I see seven or eight year olds dressed like hookers, hear

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: I Want to Go Away With my Parents, Not my Partner Too

Hi Susan, I’ve been Sam for six months and he’s lovely. But I’ve got a holiday planned with my parents in the autumn and he’s hinting strongly that he wants to come along. I enjoy spending quality time with my family and I’d feel torn having Sam there too. I’ve offered to go away with

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Wise Council From Susan Quilliam: I Forgave and Forgot, But am I Over His Affair?

Dear Susan, I’ve read recently that Jules Oliver checks Jamie’s texts and emails in case he’s got admirers. Cue my muttering ‘absolutely’ under my breath. Because I too regularly check my man’s comings and goings – he had an affair a few years ago, and although it was completely unimportant and we put it behind

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Sexual Health Week: Bish UK Porn Challenge

At Cliterati, we’re huge fans of Bish. It offers ‘free award winning sex and relationship education for young people’ according to the site blurb, but it’s so much more than that. Safe sex, gender and body issues, relationships and porn are all things that can offer anyone  challenges at any age – and Bish delivers sensible, non-judgemental,

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