Sexually Cliterate: Kegel Toning Explained

While there are certainly lots of  fantastic dildos, vibrators, cock rings and all manner of orgasm-inducing devices around, there are two things that will improve your orgasms more than all of these added together:  Kegel exercising and lube. We’ll espouse the joys of lube at a later date but to start with, get your love

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Sexually Cliterate: Sub/Dom Basics

When it comes to submission there are various fun ways to explore it. If you’re only mildly curious about indulging your submissive side, it may be best to start with non-physical submission and only up the ante once you’ve got used to the psychological effects that submission can bring. While some people feel elated and

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Can Kink/Vanilla Couples Ever Flourish?

Fetish has been increasingly entering the mainstream over the last few years. Films such as The Notorious Betty Page, Shortbus and Secretary have all brought kink out into the open, and nowadays it’s rare to see a catwalk show or fashion magazine that doesn’t have some kind of fetish influence. Obviously, this is good news

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Why do kink when you can do ‘Ecstatic BDSM’?

Why just do kink when you can do ‘Ecstatic BDSM’? That’s the question London Faerie aims to answer at The Purple Door, a two-day workshop in London, on Saturday 27th and Sunday 28th September. The workshop provides a comprehensive introduction to Ecstatic BDSM – sometimes also called ‘conscious kink’ – for anyone with any level of

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Wise counsel from Susan Quilliam: I’m having regrets about the break-up

I was so sure that it was right for my ex and I to break up. Since we met four years ago, I’ve taken my degree, started work, got a promotion and moved into my own place – while he’s still struggling to get a qualification. It felt as if I was leaving him behind

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: My Mum’s just come out

Over new year, my Mum said she had something to tell me – and announced that she’s in love with a woman. She and Dad have been divorced for ten years, and since then she’s never had a boyfriend – but I thought that was just because she was too busy looking after my brother

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I had sex with my boss

We had a fantastic end-of-term party at the school I work at, and I got it on with my favourite man – he came back to my place and we had a great night. Trouble is, he’s a head of department and I’m a trainee doing teaching practice. We’re both free and single, and I’m

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I want a better sex-life!

Hi Susan! Definitely got my New Year Resolution sorted – it’s to have a much, much better sex life with my partner. At the moment, though we love each other, love our little boy, and are each other’s best friends, we simply don’t get round to lovemaking more than about once a week. How can

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Should I go to hers for Christmas?

Dear Susan, This isn’t a sex question, or even a relationship question really. My girlfriend has just invited me to come and stay at her parents’ for Christmas, but I’m a bit wary that this means she’s getting too serious. We’ve only been going out for a few months – we have fun but no

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Will our long-distance relationship work out?

Dear Susan, My boyfriend and I have had a long-distance relationship for 19 months – we’re at Uni at opposite ends of the country. But since we went back this year, things have changed. He doesn’t Skype as often, and when he does he’s a bit distant. Last time I rang, his flatmate got quite

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Sex toys – why bother?

Dear Susan, It seems as if everywhere I turn, people are going on about sex toys: they’re advertised online, they’ve been the subject of endless programmes on TV. And my oldest friend spent our wine-bar evening last week telling me about this great new vibrator she’s bought. Thing is, I don’t like the idea. I

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I told my gay friend I loved him

Dear Susan, This sounds like an adolescent romcom, but it really isn’t. I have a male colleague who’s has now become a close friend. We work together a lot, we also go out two or three times a week together to films, meals and such – and over the year we’ve known each other I’ve

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I don’t want to talk about it!

Hi Susan, I love my new man to bits, but he really gets off on discussing sex. Every time we make love he wants to tell me what he liked – and he seems quite astonished that I don’t do the same. He’s not complaining or asking me to do anything different, but I can

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I can’t feel a thing!

Hi Susan I like making love, and I climax fairly easily when my clit’s touched. But when it comes to vaginal, there’s just nothing happening down there. He penetrates, he enjoys it, we make sure that whatever he does I get some clit action (fingers, CAT position), and so I usually have a good time.

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Have Dating Rules Changed?

Dear Susan I’m a 52 year old woman married for 25 years and divorced for two. The split was absolutely the right thing to do, but now I’m ready to fall in love again, things are going wrong. I’ve gone to a number of events – speed dating, online dating meet-ups, alternative workshops – where

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Shall I sleep with my colleague?

Hi Susan I’ve just come back from a conference where I hung out with four female colleagues from another branch whom I’d never met before. We all got on well, but the last evening when the others had gone to bed, one particular woman and I stayed behind and chatted – with benefit of alcohol

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Help – He Comes Too Quickly!

Hi Susan I’m with a lovely guy and outside the bedroom we get on really well – lots in common, he makes me laugh, he treats me like a princess. Inside the bedroom it’s a bit different; whether he’s inside me or I’m delivering oral, he lasts for about 60 seconds, then we’re done. Yes,

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: He just can’t get enough

Susan, help. My partner of six months has a really, really high sex drive. He likes to have sex three times a night, and though you might think that’s great, it’s actually not. I like sex, don’t get me wrong, but his constant demands are getting me down. At first his needing sex all the

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Should I get back with my ex?

Hi Susan Just met up again with my ex of five years ago, and we’ve arranged to go out for a meal next week. I’m so, so tempted to take it further – he’s as handsome as he’s ever been, has just moved back to our home town to take a great job, and when

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: How can I support my partner better?

Dear Susan I’m with a woman I love dearly and who means the world to me. But she’s going through a really, really hard time – she’s moved down South to be with her parents who are both quite elderly and ill, and that also means she’s taken on a new job which is proving challenging. I’m moving down

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I want more orgasms more often

Hi Susan I noticed that it was National Orgasm Day a while back, and that made me realise that I’m absolutely fed up with not having as many climaxes as I’d like. My man and I work really hard, get not much time together and when we do make out it’s usually late at night

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: I want my holiday fling to remain just that

Hi Susan I feel so stupid about this. I went on holiday with three girlfriends and we had an amazing time. But one evening towards the end of the holiday we all got hammered and I ended up spending the night on the beach with one of the reps. So far no problem, but… I’d

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: How can we keep cool while we’re getting hot?

Hi Susan I know you normally answer quite serious questions about sex, so you’ll maybe think this is a bit trivial. But can you give us some tips on how to make out in hot and humid weather. My girl and I are getting together this weekend – we’re at Uni at opposite ends of

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Wise Counsel from Susan Quilliam: Which contraception should we use?

Hi Susan I’m 24 and very happy with my boyfriend and our sex life. We’ve both been tested for STIs, so all we need take care of is contraception – and for the last three years I’ve been on the pill. But now I’d really like to come off it and use more natural methods.

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