Shaves in toy land

Q: What do scallops, gin, spanking and olives all have in common? (This isn’t some kind of surreal joke, by the way). A: They are all things that Drunken Slut Mum would not go near with a barge pole when she was 18 but now she enjoys them all. I thought scallops looked too odd,

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Lust in an elevator

It was my last and only chance to make it happen, the ideal time to do what I wanted, without worrying about what anyone thought, the ultimate ‘goodbye and sod you all moment’ – my last ever day in a job I never wanted, nor needed to leave on good terms. I had taken a

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: What’s wrong with my penis?

Hi Susan Quick question. I’ve started getting a lot of pain when I urinate, and some discharge from my penis. Can you tell me what’s wrong and whether there’s any medication I can get. I’ve tried looking this up on the web but there’s no definite answers. I can’t go to my GP because he

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Toy Review: Doc Johnson Jeff Stryker Realistic Cock 10 inch Dildo

I think I’m in love with Doc Johnson’s Jeff Stryker Realistic Dildo. Yes, I know it’s an inanimate object that won’t love me back, but what with the perpetual retro cool trend, surely it’s OK to worship a ten inch rubber cock from the 80s. It isn’t? Well it should be, because Stryker’s cock is

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Erotica: A Quiet Drink after Work #2 by Aco

Another hard day at work. Since I gave my notice, I’ve found it hard to concentrate on the project I’ll be leaving in a few weeks, and little things around the office have begun to annoy me. Not to mention the constant demands for help and documentation from my incompetent (soon-to-be-ex) boss. Well, if he

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Ask Cliterati: What to Do With a Large Penis

I may sound like I’m bragging but I really do have a problem because my penis is too big – it’s nine inches long and extremely thick. My girlfriend’s quite small down below and we have continually tried to have sex. I can only get about two inches in and then it hurts her because

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