Shaken but not stirred – Museu de l’Erotica, Barcelona

“I’m not sure about going in here,” said new man, “I already feel horny, so this is going to make me even worse.” He was always horny. I had persuaded him to come with me to Barcelona’s Museu de l’Erotica – it was on the list of things to do that I had drawn up

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Trying it on for size

If there is a sure-fire way to shatter the dregs of one’s self-esteem, it has to be trying on a pile of clothes in various shop changing rooms. Think you are getting a little too self-assured and big for your boots? Try going into a tiny cubicle with three-way mirrors and harsh lighting to magnify

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Bus job

We were on the bus, sitting at the back. It was late, no one was there, save for an old man near the front, holding a carrier bag on his knee. But he and I had lost all sense of the outside world, the drink warming and melting our insides, warming and melting most of

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Alas, the phallus (again)

“Stop waving your dick around – we’ve all seen it now so you can put it away!” I had got particularly annoyed by an arrogant and patronising email sent by a male contact and a female work colleague was suggesting how I could respond – in an ideal world. It did get me thinking that

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The sculpted man

He was so perfect that it was almost as though he had been sculpted from the imagination of someone wanting to create the ultimate male Aryan specimen. Six feet tall, blonde, tanned, with broad shoulders and well-defined, but not over-bulging biceps. When his pale blue eyes fixed on me, I felt myself purr with anticipation.

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When I see you next

When I see you next…don’t make me wait; let’s not eat, drink and talk for three hours. Save that for afterwards. When I see you next… I want you ready for me, but fully clothed. I will walk through the door, kiss you slowly, taste you, drink you in. Our embrace will last long enough

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Blame it on the body

I sometimes think my body is a separate being, detached from whatever else is left of me – sitting in the corner of the room or perched on a bookshelf, laughing at me or sticking up two fingers. With the number of times it lets me down or humiliates me, I can only conclude that

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: What’s wrong with my penis?

Hi Susan Quick question. I’ve started getting a lot of pain when I urinate, and some discharge from my penis. Can you tell me what’s wrong and whether there’s any medication I can get. I’ve tried looking this up on the web but there’s no definite answers. I can’t go to my GP because he

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Wise Counsel From Susan Quilliam: I truly am too small

Hi Susan I bet you get this from guys all the time, but I’m worried about the size of my cock. In my case, though, I’ve got reason to worry. I’m really small. I mean really small – when erect only two inches. I’ve had some very hurtful comments from girls I’ve slept with, to

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Trying it on for size

If there is a sure-fire way to shatter the dregs of one’s self-esteem, it has to be trying on a pile of clothes in various shop changing rooms. Think you are getting a little too self-assured and big for your boots? Try going into a tiny cubicle with three-way mirrors and harsh lighting to magnify

Continue reading »

Columns:Trying it on for size

If there is a sure-fire way to shatter the dregs of one’s self-esteem, it has to be trying on a pile of clothes in various shop changing rooms. And in the January sales, many of us have probably taken this reliable route, as DSM did today. Think you are getting a little too self-assured and

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Ask Cliterati: What to Do With a Large Penis

I may sound like I’m bragging but I really do have a problem because my penis is too big – it’s nine inches long and extremely thick. My girlfriend’s quite small down below and we have continually tried to have sex. I can only get about two inches in and then it hurts her because

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